Toast
by DATCutie
Summary: What if's are apart of life, so what if Peeta had been rescued quicker? What would happen? When the girl on fire and the boy with bread are reunited what are they? Toast...


I walk around, dazed and confused, following only the tiles beneath my feet, not to dare look up at the artifical light of District 13. I don't want to be here underground, trapped, like my father had been as the mine collasped. This place is not home, I want to go home; I could of, had I not taken those berries out. There is a thud as I run into someone, it's Haymitch.

There's not alcohol allowed here, I can tell it's already starting to take a toll on him. His hand hanging sluggish, his eyes, now sober, clouded with withdraw. I open my mouth to say something, anything.

I'm lost. How are you? You look like shit.

All in my head, but he just grunts and walks around me. I take in my sights and realize, I'm near my room and the cafeteria. My stomach is aching me to go and get a little bit of food in me. But my heart says another. I turn the corner and find my room.

As I shut the door, I walk over to the bed and curl in a ball like I did when my father first died and I had no idea how to survive. I feel like this now.

District 12 was blown up right after the I broke the arena wall, almost everyone is dead. Gale managed to get my mother and Prim, along with a few others from the seam, far enough into the woods, away from the bombs. I should be thankful, but what about all the other lifes taken, because of my actions. Madge, her family, Delly's parents, Peeta's... Hot tears slide down my checks, but soon those tears turn into gut wrenching sobs.

I should have never left him in that arena. Now he is in the capitol, with Snow. He's being tortured everyday, while I sit moping for my losses. I can't imagine what there doing to him, I don't want to. He should be here, I should be there. If one of us could come here and have some what of a normal time, it should be him. Turning over I look at the dresser that contains all of my valuables, from District 12. I open the drawer, find what I was looking for and curl back onto the bed, rolling it in my fingers.

This pearl is something I can't live without. It keeps me sane. I remember when we were in the arena when he gave me this. Warmth flooding my cheeks as I remember the kiss we shared the night. I quickly put my hand, with the pearl, inder the pillow as light shines into the room.

I see Prim with a plate in her hand. "I snuck you a plate from dinner"

"Thanks little duck" I sit up and decide to eat it, not wanting to upset her. She takes a sit next to my in the bed we share.

She sighs "It's not your fault" I stop eating, not being able to stomach anything anymore.

"I know P-"

"No you don't know!" she snaps "Katniss you did what you had to, to survive. Do you hear me survive. I know everyone didn't make it, but that's not to be near starving yourself about!" She calms down and I don't say anything.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you. Leaving in the morning not coming back till late night, skipping meals, not sleeping. It's not good. Everyone here is worried about you" She hesitates before finishing. "If Peeta were here and you were stuck out there, he would do everything in his power to bring you back.

I choke back the burning in my throat, wanting to realease. Blinking back tears I turn my head from her. I hate it, but she's right. I shouldn't be here doing absolutly nothing, when I should be working on trying to get Peeta back. If Coin isn't going to start doing something about it then I will.

"I understand, I'm sorry. It's just something you don't understand, knowing that people didn't have to die for you. Having that lurking in the back of you mind is worse than being stung by tracker jackers" I smile wearily "But I do need to get Peeta back and I'm going to start tommorow."

She smiles cheekily. "You like Peeta, don't you Katniss?" I roll my eyes, but that doesn't stop the blush.

"You need to tell him as soon as he gets back, once he finds out his family is gone, we might be the only ones he has left." She shakes her head, I know the truth in her statement. If Peeta wanted to die for me in the arena because no one would miss him, I can't imagine what he would feel when there's no one here.

"You should talk to me more often" She beams proudly. I laugh and kiss her forhead

"Yeah maybe I should

My eyes crack open in just enough time to see mother up and ready to leave, she turns my way and smiles slightly when she realizes I'm awake. "Prim left for breakfast and started her schedule. I'm leaving know, grab a muffin, and go to the Hospital." I nod an ok, she kisses my forehead and leaves. She's been trying to be more motherly, I let her but it's going to take me a while before I can see her as a mother.

I strech out my limbs and get some breakfast. I feel the eyes on me, the whispers as I get my food._ No one has seen her in days. That poor girl. I can't beleive she let Peeta get taken. Is she still pregnant? I heard she wanted Peeta to get taken._ I let them float around me as I go and sit with Finnick and Gale. They have become some what of friends, Gale teaches him some more knots he can do with his rope. The rope keeps his thoughts at bay kind of like my pearl.

"Katniss, I was beginning to think you were a ghost" Gale says tring to break the silence, I smile barely, while Finnick looks up from his food

"You know if you wanted me, you could of just asked, no need to moan about me" He wiggles his eyesbrows. I chuckle and see Gale light up that I'm doing something that's not crying. We all fall into a nice conversation after that. Gale is working on weapons with Beetee, he says their doing great and I can tell how happy it's making him. His family is adjusting to living here, Posy turned 5 last week. I feel bad that I missed out on that important event, but I'm going to do that anymore. Finnick tells me about how he mainly just talks to Beetee about a Trident, him and Gale are working on. I know the question I want to ask, he does to, but I don't want to ruin his breakfast.

"When are they getting Peeta back?" Once the words escape Finn's mouth, gray looms over our conversation. Gale glares at Finnick, but I get up, I promised Prim I would get out. "Katniss-" Gale calls after me, but I keep walking, he doesn't want to know that I want Peeta back.

I get to a double doors that say **CENTER**. Pushing the doors open I see people bustling around, behind the flurry of people is a woman at a desk. I slide through and walk up to her, she doens't look up, so I tap the desk in front of her. She looks annoyed, but I don't care right now

"Can I help you with something?" My mouth turns to a thin line. "Yeah, I need to talk to Coin" I snap. "Well I can't let you in without an appointment" She smirks. I roll my eyes and start to walk to her office. I hear her screeching voice telling me to stop and her calling for security but I'm already in the office.

Coin looks up from her work, I see the lines in her eyes and the stone barrier up on her face. "Hello Katniss"

"Hi Coin" I don't trust her, but there's no where for me to go. "Why are you here?" she askes impatiecntly

"Why hasn't there been a rescue for Johanna and the others?" I don't want her to know how much I care about Peeta. I didn't say his name, but I see a ghost of a smirk on her face.

"I know you want your friends, but we have more pressuring issues." I don't like the way she says _friends_ "Besides we need our mockingjay to start filming props-"

"What? Mockingjay?" I cut her off

"As I was saying, yes our Mockingjay. You are the symbol of the rebellion, the berries stunt was the little spark we needed to get our part started. With you in the props, it will show you are alive, well and willing to fight for freedom. We have a good part of all the districts with us, but the ones more deicated to the capital, like one and two. Once they realize that you're here and ready, we'll have all the districts with us. You represent hope to the people" She ends her explantion with a snarl. Like she can't the idea of me being hope.

"And who said I would agree to this?" I cross my arms

"Ms. Everdeen I am the president here, I take care of your family" I feel her threat, she'll go after Prim and mom, but I can use this "Mockingjay" thing to my advantage.

"Yeah, you do, but I want the people captured here. In District 13. Or I am not your mockingjay." Her lips tighten in a even thinner line, I see the gears in her head. Although my family was not a empty threat, killing my family would get her no where in this war. That's the one thing she so desparately needs: Power.

"Fine-"

"I also have a few more conditions that I have, and will present at a live meeting tommorow in the ballroom." I can see anger crack through her wall.

"As you wish, but you will be in the ballroom at 9am sharp and not a second later" I nod my head and leave before she can say anything else

I roll Peeta's last gift for me inbetween my fingers. Prim and mother are asleep, while I lie awake, like I do everynight, battling the nightmares that consume my mind. I told Gale about the confrence, he insited that he is with me to back me up. I told him I didn't need backup, we got in a little argument, but he is still coming with me tommorow. I take the pearl and give it a kiss, hoping that for once in my life things fo my way.

I'm coming for you Peeta


End file.
